February 4, 2022

It’s 5 o’clock Somewhere: Southwest Brings Back Booze

Nearly two years since it poured its last Wild Turkey in the sky, Southwest Airlines will resume selling alcoholic beverages on February 16. When the taps are turned back on for the airline, it will leave American as the lone major U.S. carrier still flying like it’s 1920s prohibition all over again.

Southwest is adding back beer, wine, sparkling wine, and spirits, on-sale for either $6 or $7, presumably depending on how polite passengers are to the flight attendant working their section. Southwest will honor drink coupons that expired in 2020 and 2021, and if past history is any indication, will honor drink coupons that expired in the Reagan administration too.

It originally planned to bring alcohol back nearly a year ago, but a string of on-board incidents with rowdy passengers assaulting flight attendants and other passengers caused the airline to continue the ban. Other drinks returning include hot tea, hot cocoa, tonic water, and the always danger-causing… apple juice.

Hawaiian Employees Lose Vaccine Challenge in Court

The challenge by seven Hawaiian Airlines employees to block the carrier’s COVID-19 vaccination policy was shot down by Judge Jill Otake in the United States District Court for the District of Hawai’i.

More than 95% of Hawaiian’s employees are vaccinated, and the carrier denied exemption requests from all seven – which led to the suit. The seven plaintiffs cited religious and medical reasons for wanting an exemption, including one flight attendant who stated her body is “temple of the Holy Spirit and that God has directed her not to take the vaccine.”

There was no further update as to whether God directed her to keep her seat in the upright and locked position for taxi, takeoff, and landing.

BA to Allow Non-Revs to Do What They’ve Always Done

British Airways will allow non-rev passengers to take onboard amenity kits and pajamas – something they’ve always done anyway – as it looks to win its employees’ hearts back through mini toothpaste and eye masks.

Non-revs can also choose wine from the full on-board selection and can even choose a drink that would require a new bottle to be opened. These luxuries were previously against policy as a cost-cutting measure for the airline, despite most flight attendants’ willingness to provide amenity kits and wine to non-revs as a part of professional courtesy.

CEO Sean Doyle reversed the policy after acknowledging a broken relationship with staff. A recent internal staff survey was said to shock Doyle, who called the results “sobering reading.” Unfortunately for BA staff, he won’t be increasing salaries or PTO, but those able to score seats in long-haul premium class will now head home with more mouthwash and Q-tips than before the flight.

  • Aegean added new wifi on its planes.
  • Aeroflot took delivery of two B777s with a retrofitted cabin.
  • Airnorth added two E190s.
  • ANA is increasing fuel surcharges.
  • Bamboo Airways will make its intercontinental debut on February 19 when it flies to Melbourne and then will add Frankfurt on February 25.
  • Etihad is resuming daily flights to Sydney and Melbourne on April 3.
  • flydubai is adding new 3x-weekly service to Al Ula, Saudi Arabia (YNB) on February 24.
  • GlobalX was classified as an actual business by the SEC.
  • Kenya Airways is restructuring its debt.
  • LATAM was given permission from the bankruptcy court to put its reorganization plan to a vote.
  • Norse Atlantic, the carbon copy of Norwegian founded by three guys named Bjørn, will place its first FA base in the arctic climates of Florida.
  • Qantas CEO Alan Joyce compared Western Australia to North Korea, which is a mighty bold statement regardless of the context.
  • Qatar is resuming daily service to Brisbane on March 1.
  • Sun Country Flight 110 landed safely in Las Vegas this morning when its landing gear collapsed. All 50 passengers and six crew were unharmed, but management suffered grave injury upon learning they broke a perfectly good landing gear to get only 50 people to Vegas.

A guy came up to me on the street with a camera and microphone and said he’d give me $10,000 if I could name two structures that hold water.

I was so stunned, I blanked and just said “well, damn.”